


See You At The Bitter End

by svnwooxx



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, I'm so sorry, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, Very Light Smut Scene, and i can't seem to make sunwoo stop suffering, i'm sorry i still can't tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:55:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29088693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svnwooxx/pseuds/svnwooxx
Summary: There was something going on with Sunwoo, Chanhee knew it.He had been acting weird lately. As much as Sunwoo’s regular behaviour would have been considered weird nonetheless, with his stupid puns and histhere’s always something to moan aboutattitude. Chanhee just knew something had changed.
Relationships: Choi Chanhee | New/Kim Sunwoo, Choi Chanhee | New/Kim Younghoon
Comments: 5
Kudos: 65





	See You At The Bitter End

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I somehow impulsively wrote this thing in an hour. I'm not exactly sure of what it is.  
> Is it just me, or does everyone else have a kink for making their own bias miserable too, anyway? Sunu, I promise I love you. Also, English is not my first language and this work is unbeta-ed, any major mistakes please do let me know.
> 
> Enjoy the read!

There was something going on with Sunwoo, Chanhee knew it. 

He had been acting weird lately. As much as Sunwoo’s regular behaviour would have been considered weird nonetheless, with his stupid puns and his _there’s always something to moan about_ attitude, Chanhee just knew something had changed. 

  
It was the way he would often catch him staring at him as if he was in a trance, mindlessly sinking his teeth on his bottom lip and leaving marks behind. 

  
“Yah, Sunwoo-ah! I can hear you thinking from here. Stop biting those pretty lips of yours, would you? We have a schedule tomorrow, and that’s gonna need a lot of cover-up”. 

  
As Chanhee shouted his name, Sunwoo snapped out of his bubble and his nervous frame jumped on the chair he had been sitting on, looking too much like a kid who’d just got caught stealing candies.   
He mumbled an apology and something about really needing to take a shower and made his way out of the communal room, guilty eyes now glued to the floor instead. 

  
Chanhee heard the first slam of Sunwoo’s room door, then the second one coming from his bathroom.

  
The truth was, Chanhee wasn’t able to hear his thoughts. 

The warm lights coming from the TV were softening Younghoon’s face. Chanhee sighed, as he got comfortable again and placed his head in the crook of Younghoon’s neck. 

The latter brushed his nose on his hair for a handful of seconds, breathing in its scent, before planting a kiss on top of it and going back to the movie.

—

  
Sunwoo and Chanhee had never had a problem with platonic cuddling. They’d always been close to each other. Chanhee would take care of him when he was sick, he would cook him delicious home-made meals and shove them on his lap when he didn’t feel like eating, he would slip into his bed late at night and sigh before throwing a leg on top of his own’s and fall asleep breathing against his neck. 

Or at least, he used to, until Younghoon came into the picture. Sunwoo wasn’t ready, the first time he saw Chanee slipping into Younghoon’s bed instead.

Chanhee and Sunwoo were sharing a cigarette on the balcony of their dorm. 

Chanhee wasn’t a smoker, but he didn’t mind taking a few drags off of Sunwoo’s cigarettes once in a while, usually after a long day of work.

  
Chanhee was tired, Sunwoo could tell. 

  
His skin was a few shades too pale, his dark circles showing on his bare face. 

  
Their elbows were touching as they rested on the edge of balcony.

  
Chanhee watched as Sunwoo tipped the cigarette and ashes fell down to mix up with the snow that had gathered on the ground outside. 

  
It was cold. 

  
Chanhee threw an arm around Sunwoo and pulled him closer in an attempt to warm up them both, and once again he could swore he heard Sunwoo’s frame jump.

  
“Sunwoo,” he muttered, taking back the cigarette he was being offered and inhaling another drag, before stubbing it on the balcony and letting it go. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” 

  
Sunwoo didn’t answer, just kept staring at the city light with something that looked like a conflicted expression painfully painted on his face. 

  
Sunwoo was so loud in his silence Chanhee thought he could hear him thinking. 

  
Once again, he realised he couldn’t. 

  
Chanhee’s eyebrows frowned. 

  
He removed his arm from Sunwoo’s shoulders to bring both his hands to cup his face. 

  
Sunwoo’s big eyes immediately fell to the floor, as if he couldn’t bear the sight of the eldest anymore.

  
The thought made Chanhee shiver, and not because of the cold weather.

  
“No, hey. Look at me,” his thumbs drew circles on Sunwoo’s cold cheeks, as he pushed his chin up in the attempt to make him look at him. “I’m right here”.

No, he wasn’t, Sunwoo thought to himself.

  
Sunwoo still tried to avoid Chanhee’s gaze, fully aware of his body nervously twitching like he needed to get out of the other boy’s grasp for his life. 

Chanhee was genuinely upset.

  
Had he done anything wrong for Sunwoo to suddenly act so jumpy and nervous around him? He almost looked like he was scared of Chanhee. 

  
Scared.

  
“There’s nothing to talk about, hyung. I’m fine,” Sunwoo muttered, as he finally managed to look at him in the eyes. “Everything is just fine, stop worrying about me.” 

He tried to smile, but his trembling lips betrayed him. 

  
Chanhee scuffed. 

  
“And now you’re lying to me. I can see straight through you, Sunwoo,” he tightened his grip on the boy’s face, pulling him closer. “You know that too.”

  
Sunwoo’s stomach twisted at the sudden proximity to his lover’s face. Chanhee was unreal. But no, he didn’t know. If that was true, Chanhee would know why Sunwoo had been acting weird around him. 

  
He had no clue how he still hadn’t picked it up really, as Sunwoo thought his actions spoke louder than words.

  
He didn’t know when he started feeling that way about him, and what bugged him even more was the fact that he couldn’t understand how he hadn’t fallen for him the second he first lead his eyes on him. 

  
Sunwoo just wanted to close the poor distance left between them and press his lips on Chanhee’s owns. He snapped out of his bubble and suddenly realised he wasn’t saying anything, that he had just been staring at his mouth for seconds that probably felt like hours to the other boy. 

He felt himself panic, trying to think of something, anything, to say. His mouth opened before he could think, as he spat out impulsive words.

“If you really think you can see through me, then you’d be able to—”

  
The balcony door opened as Younghoon made his unexpected entrance, and Sunwoo bit his own tongue so hard he swallowed blood. 

Chanhee let go of his face as if he got electrocuted, his frowned features suddenly softening in a genuine smile. 

  
“Chanhee,” Younghoon spoke, eyebrows frowned as he watched the two boy’s awkwardly freezing their asses out in the balcony. “I’ve been looking for you.”

  
Chanhee’s name on Younghoon’s lips feels like a spoonful of salt in Sunwoo’s mouth. 

  
“We were just talking,” Chanhee smiled as took a few steps towards Younghoon’s, wrapping his slender fingers around the eldest’s arm. “Our little Sunwoo has a secret he doesn’t want to share, you see.”

  
His tone was playful, and to add to the misery Sunwoo felt swallowing him whole, Younghoon arched a eyebrow at him, his thin pretty lips curving into a smile. 

  
“Oh, does he?”

  
Sunwoo questioned to himself why Younghoon was talking of him like he wasn’t even there. He had no clue what to do with himself since they were blocking the door, so he took his pack of cigarette out of his pocket and put another one in between his plump lips, before lighting it up and turning his back on them, pretending he was still be able to enjoy the city lights. 

  
“Sunwoo, finish that shit and come back inside please,” Younghoon spoke softly this time, a trace of worry in his words. “You’re gonna catch a cold.”

  
“Yes Sunwoo, you’re gonna catch a cold. It’s freezing out here”, Chanhee chimed in, already dragging his lover in the warmth of their dorm. “I want to see you getting ready for bed in half an hour, so you better hurry up.”

  
And with that, they shut the door on him. Sunwoo quickly inhaled another few drags of his cigarette, before letting it go without even bothering stub it. As if he cared if he even was to catch a cold. 

  
What the fuck was the point in getting sick, anyway?

Chanhee couldn't have been there to shower him with soft lullabies until Sunwoo would eventually fall asleep. 

  
—

When Sunwoo went back inside, after his third cigarette and a lot of overthinking, the living room lights were off and the room seemingly empty, if not for him.

  
Everyone else must have had gone to sleep. Of course Chanhee forgot he wanted to see him before going to bed. He was probably already busy in _someone else’s_ bed.

  
He shivered. 

  
His fingers were frozen and therefore useless but he tried to brush them against his arms in the attempt of getting his body back to a normal temperature anyway. He made his way into his bedroom craving a warm shower, and maybe one or two of those sleeping tablets the doctor had given him for insomnia a few weeks before. 

  
Sunwoo didn’t actually suffer from insomnia. He just couldn’t sleep anymore without Chanhee turning off the lights and quietly getting into his bed to shower him with sweet lullabies. Sunwoo had lied, yes, and he could have been in serious trouble if his hyungs were ever to find out. 

  
But after all, explaining his lie would have been far easier than try to explain them that every time he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, all he could see were images of his own hands tightly squeezing Chanhee’s tiny waist, his cock slamming into him as Chanhee’s loud, lustful moans filled up the whole room. 

  
Sunwoo stopped in the middle of the corridor, and for a second he thought he finally reached full insanity.

Sunwoo could _actually_ hear Chanhee’s muffled moans filling the room, right there, as he stood fully awake in the middle of the corridor, paralysed by the heavenly sound.

He was sure those were Chanhee’s moans, he was sure because of all the times he heard them in his dreams. 

They sounded exactly like he had imagined he thought, absurdly calm. His stomach twisted into a knot as he felt his body move, walking towards the source of the noise. He knew exactly what he was going to find. He knew it, but his feet kept bringing him to what he figured was gonna keep him awake for the rest of his miserable fucking life.

And he was right. 

Younghoon had Chanhee pinned down on the couch. He was holding both his small wrists at each side of his head with only one hand, using the other one to balance himself on the black leather as he repeatedly rolled their hips together, earning soft muffled moans from Chanhee’s mouth in response. 

Sunwoo just stood there, watching as Chanhee moans became louder and harder to mask, as Younghoon connected their lips together in a heated attempt to cover Chanhee’s desperate whimpers. He watched as Chanhee whined in between those kisses, _more, more Younghoon, please more_. 

He stood there to see Younghoon oblige as he let go of his wrists to unzip Chanhee’s pants and straight up grab his cock, making Chanhee’s moans break into a million pieces and making Sunwoo realise that wasn’t the first time. Sunwoo kept watching, until he saw Chanhee’s eyes widen as he gasped loudly, Younghoon immediately retreating his hands from Chanhee’s pants and standing up. 

Sunwoo didn’t immediately realise why they had stopped. Then he noticed his fingers shaking on the light switch on his right he had turned on a few moments before. The room was so bright now, he could see Chanhee’s cheeks tinted with a lovely shade of pink and Younghoon strong eyebrows frowned in a worried expression as he chewed the insides of his mouth. 

Sunwoo just stood there. Not a word escaping his mouth, his heavy gaze helplessly glued to Chanhee. The boy of his dreams and nightmares was still breathing heavily, his chest quickly going up and down and his cock still fully hard, Sunwoo noticed as he just kept standing there. 

  
Younghoon was the first one to break the silence, forcefully having Sunwoo turn his attention towards him instead. 

  
“Sunwoo, listen to me now, this is not—“ was the panicked sentence, but Sunwoo shocked them both by bursting into a laugh. He could hear himself being way too loud, louder than Chanhee’s moans still reverberating in his head, but he couldn’t stop. His stomach was twisted into a painful knot, his heart in his throat and the need to throw up was unbearable, yet he couldn’t stop laughing. 

Sunwoo didn’t want to look at Younghoon. He wanted to look at Chanhee. But Chanhee wasn’t looking at him. He was looking at Younghoon instead, probably waiting for him to fix everything, Sunwoo thought to himself. Chanhee was looking at Younghoon like his whole life was in his hands, and Sunwoo couldn’t take it anymore. 

The arrogant, hysterical laugh quieted down, as he calmly pressed his lips into a thin line, bit his thick lips, pretended to think and taking all the time in the world to speak, suddenly enjoying the way the other two were wrapped around his fingers. 

  
“Let me guess,” he finally hummed, his voice now trembling as he could hear himself speak outside of his head. “This is not what it looks like.”

  
He didn’t wait for an answer, as he turned his back on them and headed straight to his bedroom. He shut his door behind that mess, breathing fast as he let his back slide down the door until his body was meeting the cold floor. He brought his hands to his face to cover his eyes despite his room being pitch black. Broken sobs finally formed in his throat, and before he knew it he was crying out loud. 

—

Chanhee knocked at Sunwoo’s door. 

No answer. He could hear the boy crying inside as loudly and clearly as he could heart his own heart breaking. Now, he knew. And he wanted to punch himself in the face so hard for not noticing Sunwoo’s obvious behaviour before. 

Sunwoo was there when Chanhee and Younghoon would whisper into each other’s hears when they thought no one was paying attention. When they were giggling into each other’s necks and pushing and pulling, trying to make it look like a playful fight when all they really craved was physical contact. When they would all gather together to watch a movie and Chanhee allowed himself to spend a bit too much time to adjust his position, secretly holding Younghoon’s hand in both his own’s under the blanket. 

  
Sunwoo was always there, staring at them and torturing his lips. 

  
Chanhee sighed, banging his fists on the door more insistently. 

“Sunwoo,” he whispered, letting his heated forehead cool down against the cold of the boy’s still closed door, eyes squeezed closed and a sour taste in his mouth. “Sunwoo, please open this fucking door. Please. I need to talk to you.”

Chanhee must have sounded desperate, because suddenly a small click reached his ears and then the door opened, making him fall forward. 

Sunwoo caught him in time to avoid Chanhee falling on his face and hitting the hard floor. 

They stayed like that for seconds that seemed like hours, Sunwoo holding Chanhee by his hips like he had always dreamed to and Chanhee’s fingers tight on his biceps. 

Only, Sunwoo was still coughing up broken sobs and Chanhee was silent, not a single pleasure-filled moan escaping his mouth. 

Chanhee felt Sunwoo unwillingly let go of him and he got pushed back onto his feet. Just then, Chanhee had the guts to look at him in the eyes. He was not prepared to see Sunwoo’s puffy red eyes, tears still fresh on his cheeks, broken sobs still shaking his whole body. 

This time Sunwoo wasn’t avoiding his gaze. He was bravely staring straight into his soul instead, exposing his most vulnerable self for Chanhee’s eyes to see. The boy felt a sense of guiltiness growing into his stomach at the sight. 

What was he even guilty of? Of not being able to reciprocate Sunwoo’s feelings? Guilty of having fallen in love with somebody else? Chanhee didn’t know, but the guilt had already reached his throat and suddenly he felt on the edge of a panic attack. 

He had hurt Sunwoo. He had hurt his best friend. He looked so small in front of him, brushing tears away with shaky fingers and breathing hard just for more sobs to break out of his throat again. Chanhee reached out to him, but Sunwoo knocked off his hand with a whimper and took a few steps backward, as if he was scared of him. 

Chanhee felt like he had just got stabbed a hundred times in the span of two seconds. He felt himself being close to tears too. 

“Sunwoo,” he whispered. He couldn’t remember speaking his name with such strong pain before. He never had to. “Sunwoo, please. Please don’t tell anyone.”

Sunwoo’s eyes widened and his lips parted, a shocked expression forming into his puffy face. Chanhee immediately realised he had fucked up. Once again, and this time in an even worse way, if it was even possible. He tried to make up for it but his thoughts were all tangled up and he was now the one scared to speak. 

“Is that all you care about?” Sunwoo aggressively spat out. Tears had stopped falling, and his jaw was now tight in anger. “Well don’t worry, Chanhee. Your little secret is safe with me.” 

Chanhee felt dizzy. He didn’t know what to do with his himself, so he tried to reach out for Sunwoo once again. He offered his trembling hand, but Sunwoo was faster, and suddenly grabbed his wrist instead. 

His grip was tight. Too tight. His eyes dark.

“Sunwoo—“

  
“Fuck me,” was Sunwoo's answer, eyes still locked to Chanhee's owns. His tone was as aggressive as his touch, but Chanhee could hear a nuance of desperation messily hidden in every word. “Fuck me like he fucks you, Chanhee.”

Chanhee didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t fuck Sunwoo. Not even if he wanted to. Of course Sunwoo was an attractive young man, but he was nothing but a little brother to him. He loved him deeply, but he wasn’t _in love_ with him. His love for Sunwoo and his love for Younghoon were two completely different types of love. 

Chanhee sighed, then shook his head. 

“You know I can’t do it, Sunwoo”, he whispered, so quietly he barely heard himself. 

Sunwoo clearly heard him thought, because he pulled his wrist so hard Chanhee stumbled on his feet and found himself trapped in his best friend’s arms. Sunwoo let go of his wrist to wrap his arms around him, hiding his face in the crook of Chanhee’s neck. 

  
“Why?”, was Sunwoo’s simple answer. 

  
Chanhee knew that wasn’t an actual question. Sunwoo only wanted to be hurt more. He wanted Chanhee to slap him in the face with the truth, and Chanhee knew he had to do it for the sake of his sanity. 

“You know why, little one”, he relaxed into Sunwoo’s tight grasp and freed himself enough to hug him. Chanhee’s hands roamed through Sunwoo’s back, drawing imaginary pictures on the fabric oh his t-shirt. “You know I love you. But you also know I’m not in love with you. I’m in love with Younghoon.”

Chanhee felt Sunwoo’s body give up. His knees were failing him and Chanhee tried his best to keep him up. He hugged him tighter and brought a hand to his chin, pushing it softly so that he could look at him in the eyes. Sunwoo was broken. There was no other way to describe it.

  
Chanhee couldn’t bear the sight nor the thought of being the cause of it, so he closed his eyes and pressed a kiss onto Sunwoo’s boiling forehead, trying to put into actions what he couldn’t put into words.

Sunwoo grabbed his cheeks instead, and connected his lips on Chanhee’s own before the eldest could even think about doing anything about it.

Sunwoo didn’t try to make the other boy part his lips, his hands shaking on the other's his cheeks as he pressed their lips together so hard it hurt them both.

He softly brushed them with his tongue then, gently lapping at Chanhee bottom lip for a handful of seconds, before letting him go. 

Chanhee was petrified. Before he could say anything, Sunwoo’s features softened into a tired smile. 

“Put me to sleep, then”. 

Sunwoo grabbed his hand and headed for the bed without further explanations. He knew Chanhee knew exactly what he meant by that. Chanhee gently sat next to Sunwoo on the edge of the bed, before gently pushing on his shoulders to make him lye down. Sunwoo fell down like a doll, his body now calm, his mind at ease, now that he knew Chanhee was going to _put him to sleep_.

Just like he used to, before Younghoon happened. 

Now it was just the two of them. He didn’t care about the following day and the consequences that would come with it. He didn’t care about anything but Chanhee’s warm limbs enveloping his whole body. 

Chanhee pushed Sunwoo’s head up to place a hand under his head and threw a leg on top of Sunwoo’s owns, before moving it in between them as soon as he felt Sunwoo melt into his touch. Chanhee stopped thinking too, he stopped thinking about Younghoon panicking in the living room, about the fact that he should have probably updated him about the messy situation by now. Right there, it was only himself and Sunwoo. 

He smiled as he brushed Sunwoo’s hair away of his forehead and planted a trail of kisses on the warm skin. Then, he started singing. Sunwoo immediately moaned at the sound of his soft voice, and grabbed Chanhee by his neck to hurry him into whispering into his neck instead. Chanhee obliged, alternating trembling words to soft kisses to Sunwoo’s neck. 

Sunwoo’s breathing slowly went back to normal as Chanhee caressed his hair with his free hand, and his eyes started getting heavy until Chanhee could tell he was asleep. 

Chanhee didn’t stop singing, he didn’t stop playing with his hair and leaving soft chaste kisses on his face. It was just the two of them playing their own little game, and nothing else mattered. 

Just the two of them. 

Chanhee showering him with soft lullabies, and Sunwoo eventually falling asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> To anyone who made it to the end, thank you. It bears repeating, but kudos and comments are much appreciated.
> 
> Here's [my twt](https://twitter.com/NBKANGEL00) and my [cc](curiouscat.qa/NBKANGEL00)!


End file.
